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Chapter 8: THE DEATH OF A HORSE

β€œThe dinners are better at Γ‰don’s than at Bombarda’s,” exclaimed ZΓ©phine.

β€œI prefer Bombarda to Γ‰don,” declared Blachevelle. β€œThere is more luxury. It is more Asiatic. Look at the room downstairs; there are mirrors [_glaces_] on the walls.”

β€œI prefer them [_glaces_, ices] on my plate,” said Favourite.

Blachevelle persisted:β€”

β€œLook at the knives. The handles are of silver at Bombarda’s and of bone at Γ‰don’s. Now, silver is more valuable than bone.”

β€œExcept for those who have a silver chin,” observed TholomyΓ¨s.

He was looking at the dome of the Invalides, which was visible from Bombarda’s windows.

A pause ensued.

β€œTholomyΓ¨s,” exclaimed Fameuil, β€œListolier and I were having a discussion just now.”

β€œA discussion is a good thing,” replied TholomyΓ¨s; β€œa quarrel is better.”

β€œWe were disputing about philosophy.”

β€œWell?”

β€œWhich do you prefer, Descartes or Spinoza?”

β€œDΓ©saugiers,” said TholomyΓ¨s.

This decree pronounced, he took a drink, and went on:β€”

β€œI consent to live. All is not at an end on earth since we can still talk nonsense. For that I return thanks to the immortal gods. We lie. One lies, but one laughs. One affirms, but one doubts. The unexpected bursts forth from the syllogism. That is fine. There are still human beings here below who know how to open and close the surprise box of the paradox merrily. This, ladies, which you are drinking with so tranquil an air is Madeira wine, you must know, from the vineyard of Coural das Freiras, which is three hundred and seventeen fathoms above the level of the sea. Attention while you drink! three hundred and seventeen fathoms! and Monsieur Bombarda, the magnificent eating-house keeper, gives you those three hundred and seventeen fathoms for four francs and fifty centimes.”

Again Fameuil interrupted him:β€”

β€œTholomyΓ¨s, your opinions fix the law. Who is your favorite author?”

β€œBer—”

β€œQuin?”

β€œNo; Choux.”

And Tholomyès continued:—

β€œHonor to Bombarda! He would equal Munophis of Elephanta if he could but get me an Indian dancing-girl, and Thygelion of ChΓ¦ronea if he could bring me a Greek courtesan; for, oh, ladies! there were Bombardas in Greece and in Egypt. Apuleius tells us of them. Alas! always the same, and nothing new; nothing more unpublished by the creator in creation! _Nil sub sole novum_, says Solomon; _amor omnibus idem_, says Virgil; and Carabine mounts with Carabin into the bark at Saint-Cloud, as Aspasia embarked with Pericles upon the fleet at Samos. One last word. Do you know what Aspasia was, ladies? Although she lived at an epoch when women had, as yet, no soul, she was a soul; a soul of a rosy and purple hue, more ardent hued than fire, fresher than the dawn. Aspasia was a creature in whom two extremes of womanhood met; she was the goddess prostitute; Socrates plus Manon Lescaut. Aspasia was created in case a mistress should be needed for Prometheus.”

TholomyΓ¨s, once started, would have found some difficulty in stopping, had not a horse fallen down upon the quay just at that moment. The shock caused the cart and the orator to come to a dead halt. It was a Beauceron mare, old and thin, and one fit for the knacker, which was dragging a very heavy cart. On arriving in front of Bombarda’s, the worn-out, exhausted beast had refused to proceed any further. This incident attracted a crowd. Hardly had the cursing and indignant carter had time to utter with proper energy the sacramental word, _MΓ’tin_ (the jade), backed up with a pitiless cut of the whip, when the jade fell, never to rise again. On hearing the hubbub made by the passers-by, TholomyΓ¨s’ merry auditors turned their heads, and TholomyΓ¨s took advantage of the opportunity to bring his allocution to a close with this melancholy strophe:β€”

β€œElle Γ©tait de ce monde ou coucous et carrosses Ont le mΓͺme destin; Et, rosse, elle a vΓ©cu ce que vivant les rosses, L’espace d’un mΓ’tin!” 3

β€œPoor horse!” sighed Fantine.

And Dahlia exclaimed:β€”

β€œThere is Fantine on the point of crying over horses. How can one be such a pitiful fool as that!”

At that moment Favourite, folding her arms and throwing her head back, looked resolutely at Tholomyès and said:—

β€œCome, now! the surprise?”

β€œExactly. The moment has arrived,” replied TholomyΓ¨s. β€œGentlemen, the hour for giving these ladies a surprise has struck. Wait for us a moment, ladies.”

β€œIt begins with a kiss,” said Blachevelle.

β€œOn the brow,” added TholomyΓ¨s.

Each gravely bestowed a kiss on his mistress’s brow; then all four filed out through the door, with their fingers on their lips.

Favourite clapped her hands on their departure.

β€œIt is beginning to be amusing already,” said she.

β€œDon’t be too long,” murmured Fantine; β€œwe are waiting for you.”