Enter Lear, Kent and Fool. [LEAR]: Go you before to Gloucester with these letters: acquaint my daughter no further with anything you know than comes from her demand out of the letter. If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you. [KENT]: I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered your letter. [_Exit._] [FOOL]: If a man’s brains were in’s heels, were’t not in danger of kibes? [LEAR]: Ay, boy. [FOOL]: Then I prythee be merry; thy wit shall not go slipshod. [LEAR]: Ha, ha, ha! [FOOL]: Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly, for though she’s as like this as a crab’s like an apple, yet I can tell what I can tell. [LEAR]: What canst tell, boy? [FOOL]: She’ll taste as like this as a crab does to a crab. Thou canst tell why one’s nose stands i’the middle on’s face? [FOOL]: Why, to keep one’s eyes of either side’s nose, that what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into. [LEAR]: I did her wrong. [FOOL]: Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell? [FOOL]: Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house. [LEAR]: Why? [FOOL]: Why, to put’s head in; not to give it away to his daughters, and leave his horns without a case. [LEAR]: I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be my horses ready? [FOOL]: Thy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason. [LEAR]: Because they are not eight? [FOOL]: Yes indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool. [LEAR]: To tak’t again perforce!—Monster ingratitude! [FOOL]: If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’d have thee beaten for being old before thy time. [LEAR]: How’s that? [FOOL]: Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise. [LEAR]: O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven! Keep me in temper; I would not be mad! Enter Gentleman. How now? are the horses ready? [GENTLEMAN]: Ready, my lord. [LEAR]: Come, boy. [FOOL]: She that’s a maid now, and laughs at my departure, Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter. [_Exeunt._]